Random Ramblings.....

I have been a terrible blogger lately and just haven't been in the mood to share much about what has been going on.... Being a parent is by far the most difficult thing that I have ever done in my life. No one can prepare you for the worry, for the sleepless nights of tossing and turning because your not sure how the decisions you are making today are shaping the future of your little one. No one could ever prepare you for the knots in your stomach as you watch your child cling to your leg in fear, not wanting you to leave them for the day. No one could ever prepare you for the love that you feel every night just watching them sleep and just praying that you are doing what is best for your child.

This has been a hard few weeks. We switched about 6 months ago over to Palmer's new daycare because we were "WOWED" by the looks of the facility. It is state of the art and has the potential to be a wonderful institution for little kids. Unfortunately over the last month we have gone thru many ups and downs with changing of teachers, inconsistency, and staff not knowing what is going on. IE: I would walk in and Palmer would have on a different outfit and no one could tell me why, or I would ask if he was given his medicine and they would tell me yes, when in reality it was never given to him at all, etc... Palmer adapts well to daycare and has always enjoyed it and in the last month he has been terrified for me to leave, clinging to my leg, running to the door. I tried to chalk it up to his age but a mom's instinct knows better, something more was going on.

Yesterday was the last straw when Tex picked him up and he was hyperventilating crying and there was an Asian women in his room that speaks broken English and a 17 year old and no one could communicate well enough to tell Tex why he was so upset! That was it, all the nerves and crying over the last month came to a head and thankfully I was rational enough to not A. Quit my job and live off Credit Cards for a while or B. Go drive the mini into the daycares front door!

I was beside myself and just thought what am I doing? What am I doing as a parent, how can I be doing this to my child on a daily basis? As fate would have it while I was crying at my desk for the 5th time in two days Palmer's old daycare called my office? Just so happened they were just checking on us and missed Palmer and wished we would come back! Are they serious?Did they have a spy cam or what? I felt humiliated and humbled because my sole basis for leaving there was over material things such as looks and a new facility. I loved all of the teachers over there but when I saw the sparkling plasma and the shiny new playground all was lost on me! I have learned my lesson big time!!! I don't care how nice the facility is the people are what make up the facility and if they love my child that is all that matters!

So, today Palmer started back at his old daycare! All of his old teachers/babysitters were standing at the front door awaiting the arrival of Palmer's big return! He greeted them with a huge smile! He immediately wanted down, started playing and even waved bye bye to me! I cried again but this time because I was so happy and relieved! We were back where we belonged!

My worrying as a parent will never be over but for now the knots in my stomach are fading and my mind can go back to concentrating on other things (hopefully my work so I don't get fired!) I know this is just a blimp in our timeline but I am thankful that for the moment I can relax and enjoy my time with my family!!!

Other Random Ramblings....

**Ashley and Joe are OFFICIALLY Louisvillians!!! Louisville here they come! I am ecstatic and I am so thankful that one of my prayers was answered! I have been missing my family like crazy and this will help ease that distance and longing!!!

** Ava is turning 2 tomorrow and Palmer gets to go to a Birthday Party this weekend!!! He is so excited! He loves to party and eat cake and ice cream!!!

**** Tomorrow I go for a "real" ultrasound and it will be my first glimpse at seeing Baby T #2 in all of his/her GLORY! Wish me luck!!