Thursday, January 22, 2009

The Cycle of Life

Nana and Palmer May 2008
I have never thought that the cycle of life was very fair. I have never lost anyone extremely close to me since I was 8 years old and I have learned that I don't deal with death well, not that any of us do....

As I anticipate the birth of my daughter I also fear that my nana is getting weaker by the day and continues to fight to be with us. I have so many mixed emotions of being so excited about this new life I am going to be blessed with and an old life who I can't imagine living without. It just doesn't seem fair!

I keep on thinking of my papaw who has been there with nana for 64 years of marriage, how do you watch your loved one fade away? How do you take a lifetime of memories and hold them close to your heart? How do you look back on your life and realize it happened in the blink of an eye? How do you deal with facing your own mortality?

It seems like the first of this year has brought about so many people that need our prayers and I am constantly reminded of how precious life can be. As much as I try to cherish each moment my days go by with the same speed as anyone else's and I can't stop father time, even though I want to scream at him to stand still for just a little bit.

I am heartbroken over my nana but I look at her and realize how strong in her faith she has been over the years and what a good life she has led by her example to us all. I know that life goes on and I know that our memories keep us going. As much as I want my nana to be here for ever I also know that the quality of life she is living is not good and I want her to be in Heaven at peace and finally without pain.

To everyone that has had to face the cycle of life my prayers are with you!

To end in a more light-hearted manner... this is a quote about the cycle of life from George Carlin which makes a lot of sense! :)

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating...
...and you finish off as an orgasm.”

1 comment:

Connie Shear said...

You have a gift, baby girl! Scott is crying because of your blog tonight about the cycle of life! Thank you for honoring your Nana!