"Daycare is Not a Dirty Word"

Well, I have been in quite a funk lately and can't seem to get myself out of it. I don't know if it is the pregnancy hormones or what but something is making me an emotional roller coaster. I just don't feel like my old self right now and each day I pray to wake up with a positive attitude and a new outlook but each day I wake up feeling tired, sad, and just plain overwhelmed.

I have been reading and reading and from what I understand lots of pregnant women go thru this especially those having their 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc... baby :) So, keep your fingers crossed that at 12 weeks I will pop out of my shell and be my normal bubbly self again because if I don't I think the majority of people around me will want to start running!

One thing that has been weighting on my heart is the guilt I feel every morning when I drop Palmer aka "Mommy's little Angel" off at "school". For whatever reason he has been a complete mess every single morning I drop him off. Why oh Why did I ever want him to act the least big upset when I left? Was I a crazy person? I think I was. So, everyday I pray and hope it will be a "good drop-off" and everyday it seems to take a horrifying turn for the worse. IE: This morning we go in there and I already have an artillery of distractions which include food, milk, toys and I am thinking this is totally going to work! I bend down to let him go and the tantrum starts.... He throws his head back, lies on the floor, and cries like a 5th grader is sitting on him! So as my heartbreaks I try to "slip" (meaning I am backing out watching my child cry his eyes out and I am stumbling over every toy on the floor making more of a scene than he is) out of the room as Angel (his loving teacher) is consoling him. Usually I make it to the lobby where I can view the plasma and make sure he is doing OK. And USUALLY this works because in the short amount of time it takes me to get to the lobby he is fine and playing with his buds. Not this morning I got there just in time to see his desperate little body run to the door and bang on it as if to say "Come Back to Save Me, Mommy" So, I left with another piece of my heart gone and got in my mini and cried all the way to work just like I have done for the last 3 weeks.

This is pure torture. Is this normal? I know he loves his "school" but leaving him is becoming such a huge burden on my heart. So, I for some reason decided to "Google" feeling guilty for leaving your child at daycare. Seriously? Yes, I did. I felt desperate to hear other women's sob stories and to make me feel a little less alone and evil. But here is one that I found from another working blogger mom and it made me feel so much better!

As I come to work each morning with mascara smeared eyes I am going to open this up....

Daycare is NOT a Dirty Word!
I love daycare! Okay, childcare for those of you who feel opposed to the word daycare. I love childcare!!!I support childcare. I encourage childcare. I am proud of each and every parent that has taken the time to carefully review, select and enroll you children in childcare. And, that includes those of you who have talked one of your relatives into beginning a personal childcare service enrolling only your child "for the short term".I love and appreciate the time, patience, talents and dedication of childcare employees and childcare business owners. If you haven't thanked your childcare provider lately, it might be nice to remind them you really appreciate them today.If you are a parent who is feeling guilty about having your child in daycare while you are working, I would suggest spending a few minutes on your lunch break peeking in on them while they are hanging out with their fellow childcare buddies. Chances are pretty good that your kid is having a blast!When you these little kids all together in rooms with furniture just their size, playing with more toys than you would ever want in your home at one time, it is something funny to see. While you are at work feeling guilty, you child is dancing and reading and destroying other people's books! Together they learn to share, walk in a line and sit in a circle and play duck-duck-goose. In daycare, kids learn manners like "no hitting", "no biting" and taking turns.

Daycare also teaches kids trust, respect and mind other adult authority.You also get to enjoy the cute arts and crafts that your child brings home from "school" without the mess. Honestly, would you really make those cute little crafts at home? Would you really allow the use of tempra paint in your house? Do you even know where you would buy it in the first place? How about laminated place mats? Do you really see yourself making laminated construction paper place mats? But, that art sure looks cute in your cubicle!Believe me, daycare is NOT hell on earth for children. It is actually really fun! And, kids learn some really valuable skills that may benefit you in ways you may never think of! Take for instance, learning to take a nap on the floor in semi-loud and semi-bright conditions. That ALWAYS helps when you get stuck in an airport or when you are at a wedding reception that will never end and your tipsy husband refuses to leave because you lost at rock/scissors/paper and got to be the designated driver for the evening! Who knew?!?!?!Our country's employers, parents, grandparents and children need and want quality, safe, reliable and affordable childcare. And, not only is okay...it is GREAT!

Anyway, just so you know, I appreciate and admire the average 32 hours per week that you, trusted childcare provider, will spend watching the babies of new mothers returning to work. So, if I am doing my math correctly and there are 168 hours in a week and 32 hours per week spent with a childcare provider...that comes out to less than 20% of a seven day week! Well, I would hardly call that "raising" a child. Geesh! It is what I would call childcare!